Surveys, Good Grief

Oh boy, I have been doing surveys, surveys. Whew this is busy work.  I have been sitting in front of my computer more faithfully than if I was at work.  The only difference is I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn, get dressed and go across town to do it.

I have joined hundreds of survey sites. I have answered the questions, I can call them "the questions" because at this point in the survey world, I am again introducing myself. So basically, I am answering the same questions over and over again.

At this point in my life, I am being screened out of a lot of surveys, I think this is because people may not  be as interested in my opinions, to the same extent as when I was younger, with young children, buying a home, with husband, 2 cars, etc.  Now my children are grown and flew the coup, my husband bless his soul... and I moved on to a studio apartment. So does anyone really want to know what I think?

Now we are going to talk about my hair (that is how they do it in the surveys), I love my twists, I simply love them.  I just got it done last week, so it is still a little tight, but it has loosened and relaxed a bit. By next week for sure I will look like a goddess!

I joined a social club.  I can't wait, my first event is Sunday, we are having a Zumba day with catered food I already know I am going to love this.  I have not gone to the gym this week so, this is right on time.  This is going to be so good for me, because there are many groups, and so many activities to choose.  I already know I am going to participate in the yoga group.  The yoga group seems to practice on the beach right before sunset.

Well I have to read several passages in the Bible before I go to bed, as yesterday my eyes were too tired to focus anymore.  So before that happens again tonight, I am going to wrap this up and talk with you guys later.

By the way do you know of a Survey Panel for me to join?

Nerium International

Deborah "Nanilima" Howell
Its Hawaiian

Maintenance and Repair of the Soul

I am still cycling in grief, imitating life's acts during this period to get through to better days ahead. I have reached a plateau, I have reached my soul.  It is heavy, bloated, in sentiment old and new, mine and not mine, I have in my soul so much. This is going to take some time to sort through.

At this point I am letting a lot of things go, I must let it go, in order to free my soul, to cleanse it. Clear my soul of all prior and present unkind acts, I've done and to those done unto me, release my soul of all attachments and chains of those sentiments, I've held there so long.. I shall now wash my soul, lighten it, let go and let God.  Hold in my soul, only mercy, love, and contentedness. Seek no malice, hold no pain, nor whys.  Know in my heart, I am in preparation for a greater good!

I am moving on, I have to.  You can join me, if you are in a place, that is painful for you, if you are grieving for the loss of a loved one, a broken heart, or family.  Open your heart, it is heavy now, look deeper into your soul.  Take this time for maintenance and repair.  Straighten the contents of your soul, let go of anything you find that should not be there, find the things you want there, put those things there.  Release, release, what you find you will have left will be peace and serenity.  My spirit has been lifted today, for I know I am on the right path.

I want to thank you for allowing me to come to terms with many things in my life through writing.


Deborah "Nanilima" Howell
Its Hawaiian


Nerium International

ts25 Surf

It's 1:46A.M.

Oh well it is 1:46a.m.; and I am still awake. I have not been able sleep like before everything happened.  I am hoping though that my sleep pattern will return as I keep trying to propel myself through the grief, the feeling of loss that still has it's grip on me.  Somehow, I still make it to work in the morning, it takes me a little longer to get ready for work than it used to. But I get ready and go.

During the day I work, no breaks, most times the days blur by.  Monday through Friday, 9:00a.m through 3:00p.m., is what I tell our clients of when we are here.  Over, and over, it almost like a train pulling into a station calling out the stop.  

I checked into my online platform this evening to interact with like minded business professionals; this is how we get internet exposure, branding.  I didn't get too much of either this evening though, could not focus on that, odd, usually that was all I could focus on.  Does this mean in some small way; I am getting better? I hope so!  

Well maybe, I could not focus because, my daughter has called oh I guess from 4:00p.m. this afternoon, until about, I guess her last call was about 11:00p.m. to keep me informed of her only daughter, being in full-fledged childbirth, oh my poor granddaughter being in labor so long.  I imagine when I wake up I will have a great grandson, that will be a blessing!

Nerium International